Frequent Bullys customer Steve Burrows says he first met Kevin O'Connell when the bar opened up in Carson City. It was big even Burrows said, and O'Connell was a big personality that came with it.

"Charming, witty, smart, and so much more than that when you got to know him."

Burrows was just one of many people at today's memorial who wanted everyone to know O'Connell's death is an incredible loss. The 44 year old was stabbed to death outside a bar on Thursday night. A shock to family, friends and acquaintances.

John Sieban talked about O'Connell being more than just someone to stood on the other side of the bar.

"Four years ago I lost my 24 year old son to a car accident, a tragic car accident, after spending, listening to him call me every night Falluja for 14 months. I didn't lose him in Iraq, I lost him on Jack's Valley road in Carson City. The one man who called me and told that David has spent the best part of his life with family and friends and that was important was Kevin."

Kevin O'Connell was known for his charming personality and his patience in listening to customers and co-workers. He coached Pop Warner football, and he loved the Oakland Raiders.

Arek O'Connell is O'Connell's adopted son who had the final word at today's memorial.

"All my father ever wanted in his life was to be with loved with this family and see them together as much as possible. He might have also wanted to see the Raiders in the Super Bowl one more time...."

While there was some levity today, there was also a great feeling of loss and helplessness. And while no one may be able to make sense of what happened to O'Connell last week, the family youth pastor told the crowd, we can learn from him. It's not how he died, but what he did while he was still alive.